Posted in bartender, college, confessions, dad, daddy, Ex Wife, expectations, Family, fatherhood, jobs, Kids, memories, mommyhood, Parenting, pharmacist, responsibility, school, The Meaning of Life, Uncategorized

If I Tell You Something, Do You Promise Not to Get Mad?


Ash
Innocent until proven guilty...
“Dad?”

“Yes dear?”

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad?”

Sigh…I hate questions like that.

“Ummm, no. I don’t promise, but I’ll try really hard not to get too upset, ok?”

“Well, I just won’t tell you if you’re going to get mad at me.”

“Just say it.”

“Not if you’re going to get mad at me.”

“Fine. I won’t get mad. What?”

“You sure you won’t get mad?”

“Yes. I’m positive. If I do get mad, I’ll make sure you don’t realize it, OK?”

“OK. Well, do you remember a long time ago you were looking at different schools to go to? It was a few years ago…”

“Uh, sure.”

“Well, you told me you wanted to go to school to be a pharmacist, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, you never became a pharmacist.”

“Uh huh. Is this what you wanted to tell me? That I never became a pharmacist?

Nervously chuckling, she replies “No, not exactly. It’s just that you have to really not get mad at me if I tell you. I don’t want to upset you.”

“Just say it.”

“We were talking in class the other day about what our parents do for a living…” her voice trailed off.

“Uh huh.”

“Well, it’s just that mommy has a really good job, and everyone else’s parents had a really good job, so I kind of told them my dad was a pharmacist. BUT…I didn’t totally lie, because I told them you’re also a bartender part-time on the weekends. Please don’t be mad…”

I look real busy, huh?

Wow. That one hurt. When I was a kid, I was ashamed of my dad’s occupation (he fixed appliances). My dad has also had the same job since his sixteenth birthday, and has taken care of his family for many years doing that job. It used to be embarrassing though, as a kid, to have his appliance van parked outside our house. My mom held numerous jobs while I grew up, from being a waitress, to working at a convenience store, a babysitter, a bank teller, a personal banker, etc. I was never embarrassed about her jobs, because in my eyes my dad should be the one with the good job (because he was supposed to take care of us).

I’m not a kid anymore, and I have worked numerous jobs since my sixteenth birthday. I can honestly say that I can’t feel that embarrassed about my parent’s job(s) anymore. It’s true that my ex-wife does have an extremely “good” job, and it’s true that I am now a bartender/waiter. I can’t sugarcoat that for my kids, but I can encourage them to find something they like to do. Hopefully, when they get older, they will find a career doing something they like (love, ideally), and hopefully they will be compensated well for it.

In hindsight, there’s a lot of things I would have done differently since graduating high school, and completing a college degree would be a top priority. My wife has just started school again, and it’s a very exciting thing for our family. I am so happy for her, and I cannot wait to see her succeed. I want my children to see her succeed in her dreams, and I am looking forward to following in her footsteps this fall.

I haven’t stepped foot in a college classroom since 2002, and it’s now 2011. I have to be honest, I’m kind of nervous. I’ll loathe myself forever if I don’t take this step to better my life, however. It’s an important decision my wife and I have made (our New Year’s Resolution to each other, if you will). I no longer wish to be a pharmacist, although it is a very noble profession. I hope my daughter won’t be too upset if I get a degree in journalism, communications, or something of that nature.

I guess I’m not really mad at her for lying to her class. I mean, of course I’d prefer she didn’t lie because she’s embarrassed about her dad’s job. I see where she’s coming from though. Kids have a strange way of bringing out the best in us, don’t they? I think we owe it to ourselves and to them to do our best in every aspect of our daily lives. I hope one day I will make all four of mine proud of my accomplishments (and vice versa).

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Author:

Hello. I'm a 37 year old installation specialist, former bartender, husband and proud father of five children (all of which are girls).

7 thoughts on “If I Tell You Something, Do You Promise Not to Get Mad?

  1. Interesting story! I’m glad that you shared it with us.

    What do you tell the children about your part-time job? Do you speak lightly of it, or do you state that you’re the most thorough, people-friendly, enthusiastic cocktail provider? You might get a different reception from them of your job, depending on your interpretation of it, and the value you place on it.

    My children are enthusiastic that I work from home writing for my two blogs: one on parenting, one on making extra money. The average person would say “oh, yeah, he’s unemployed and ranting on a blog”. Me? I declare how noble my tasks are and how persons are helped by what I do.

    Let your daughter know that she can be proud of you. Hey, I am! I mean it. I read your bio somewhere online before, and tried to contact you to keep in touch. You have a wonderful turnaround. I finally found you on Twitter, through your wife. Tell your daughter that. Ask your wife. It’s true! Your daughter should be proud of you.

    1. Thank you for the encouraging words! I went to your site once before, and I remember showing it to Brandey. I will definitely go back and check on it soon (when it’s not the middle of the night)—sorry, just got off work.

      The point of this particular story was that I don’t have a part-time job bartending…that’s my real job! So, it was kind of amusing that she made up to her classmates that I did something else (at least she didn’t say astronaut). At the same time, however, it made me re-evaluate where I am in life right now.

      I know she thought it was funny to her, because she wants me to go back to school. I love the fact you write your blogs and get paid to do it! I think the most amazing job in the world would be to write about things you love and/or know a lot about and get paid to do it. Even when you’re not writing a blog and just commenting on someone else’s you’re helping people too!

      Thanks again!

      Jeremy

    1. Very nice wording Mr. Henry! I like that. When I start putting forth a little more effort into keeping up with my blog, I’m going to tell her exactly that. Thanks for finding my blog on here and taking the time to comment. I do appreciate it.
      Jeremy

  2. This brought a tear to my eye. This is something me and my husband talked about and I never really seem to get it when it’s coming from him, but hearing your story it makes me look at the topic of “finding a career” in a whole new light.

  3. Now you have me hooked Mr. Bailey! I love your writing style. Are you still considering going back to school? This made me think about my own life and decisions I need to make.

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