Posted in Ashleigh, Divorce, Ex Wife, Family, Kids, Parenting, Taralynn

The Vegan Lifestyle

So Ashleigh told me yesterday morning over the phone that they were about to go to Whole Foods over in Kansas. I say “how come?” She says “Well, mom has been reading us these books and articles about becoming vegans…

I was on my way over there anyways so I could drop off their backpacks before I went to work (left them in my car). So, when the girls came over to my car I told Ashleigh if she wants to have an interesting conversation with her mother—then on the way to Whole Foods maybe she should aske her about how her make-up is made. That’s all I said before telling them goodbye and I loved them.

Not even two minutes passed before I was having my phone texted with how I should keep my opinions to myself, and I had made fun of her in front of the kids, etc.

I don’t feel as if I made fun of her at all. I don’t ever say anything negative to the kids about their mom. I’m better than that. I just thought that since she was enlightening our children about bad things that happen to animals sometimes—maybe she could tell them how other things are made. Maybe she should tell them that the paper they write on comes from live trees that are cut down…Maybe she could tell them about the emissions our cars produce, etc.

Anyways, I got home last night, checked my e-mail, and was informed by my ex that she had been “trying out” the vegan diets off and on for the past year or so. She goes on to say that since she was eating like this in front of the kids it would be kind of hypocritcal of her to tell the kids she’s eating like this because it’s good for her—-and then letting them eat whatever they want.

Apparantly, Ashleigh is VERY interested in learning more about being a vegan with her mom, and I should support her decision. Also, if Taralynn and her DO decide that this is something that they would like to explore, that I will not be expected to supply “special” food for them—that she can just send it over with them when I have my time with them.


Taralynn is 6. Ashleigh is 9. I don’t care how much I brag about my children, how smart I know they are, whatever…They are too young to make that kind of “life decision.” Period. End of story for me. I am actually very upset about this. This email had all these facts and statistics about how healthy it is for the children, what all the benefits it had for the children, and all the bad things that the FDA does and allows to happen to contaminate our food.

I was told I should not try to sway the kids away from the decision “they” were making (on their own accord, I’m sure). Yeah right.

I’m not sure how exactly I’m going to address this issue—they are still kids. I know I refuse to belittle their mom. At the same time I absolutely do NOT agree with her decision and how she went behind my back.

Here’s my take on the vegan lifestyle: I honestly don’t care. There. That’s it. I don’t want to research it to present my side to the kids. I don’t feel like I should have to. I know I’m not going to stop eating all the big bad food the FDA allows us to. Nor will I allow them to make me feel bad about eating animals. I know I better not have two little girls come over here tomorrow and refuse to eat their dinner because I didn’t do my research and make them a “proper” meal. My kids are skinny enough as it is.

A long time ago (when the girls were still babies) we discussed church. Do you want to know why I don’t take my children to church? Because they haven’t told me they want to go. Period. When my kids can decide for themselves they want to go…then we will talk about it. Why, you ask?

When I was little my mother started going to a Pentecostal church. I know some of my friends on here I used to go to that church with. We are all older now, and live our own lives, and make our own decisions…That being said—I hated that church. I went Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Tuesday nights (prayer meeting where i was in one small room with a bunch of grown men praying out loud with the lights off—that’s what I remember about how every tuesday night of mine was ruined for years and years)…We went thursday nights too and revivals galore! For years and years and years. My dad never went. My mom, my sister and I did.

We were not allowed to watch television. If I snuck in tv while at grandma and grandpa’s…my sis usually told on me. We had a television in our living room that my dad could watch—we could not. I was not allowed to wear shorts. The women were not allowed to cut their hair, nor wear jeans—they had to wear a skirt, or a dress (past their knees mind you)! The only radio station we could listen to was 1090 AM, KEXS ( a pentecostal station). Nothing else. In three words: I hated it.

After being allowed to stop going (I was in 8th grade)…we were able to get a computer…get a super nintendo, watch television. It was nice to have a weekend off without spending the whoooole sunday at church. When i became a sophomore in high school—guess what? I started going to church again. Granted, it was a different church—but church nonetheless. I was old enough to make a decision on where I wanted to go and what I wanted to believe. I never became a “member” of that church because I never wanted to “tie myself down” to a belief. I have evolved as a person physically, emotionally, and spiritually over the years—and guess what? I believe I will continue to do so. I don’t tell people what I believe, what I do not believe, and i absolutely hate discussing religion. Maybe it has something to do with the “box” they called church I went to when I was little—and now I’m finally “out” of that box…lol Whatever it is, it is a touchy subject that I want my children to decide for themselves.

Anyways, The Vegan Lifestyle—to me is a lot like church was to me. I think they don’t want to disappoint their mother just as much as i didn’t want to disappoint mine. I just hope I don’t disappoint them.

Comments? Anyone?



Hello. I'm a 38 year-old husband and proud father of five children (all of which are girls). In addition to writing this blog, our family has a YouTube channel, called BaileyLiving.

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