Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Do you ever want to find some magic beans, plant them in the ground, and climb up a giant beanstalk into the clouds?
Then, once you’ve come to the realization that this shit can’t be happening for real—and you’re falling fast towards your untimely death (what were you thinking?)—you somehow grasp ahold of the edge of a rainbow (hmmmm…must be raining—hey, it could happen—it’s 5 o’clock somewhere damnit—go have a drink!)—and then you slide down it and fall into a big giant pot of gold.?
And then you get attacked by 2 angry leprechauns (who coincidentally, were just fighting over that very pot of gold)…Lucky for us, we know how to kick leprechaun ass. So we do.
And then we start running into the enchanted forest (which is really us going through our ordinary lives—cuz trust me—most of “us,” are ordinary).
Then, your kids come running just as fast past you going in the opposite direction. Shit. What just happened? And then you realize that Peter Pan is in this enchanted forest—and he’s chasing your kids! And you! And everyone knows that Peter Pan doesn’t really bring kid’s dreams to life—he just turns them gay. (Not that being gay is a bad thing—it’s just how it happens–trust me). Maybe they were born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline. OR maybe it was just Peter Pan.
Anyways, as you’re running alongside your kids you have to make a decision—do you keep this giant pot of gold you won off of the lil’ leprechauns, or do you toss the wealth to the side to protect your kids?
Of course you do the only logical thing you can think of—toss the money to the side, throw your kids over your shoulder, and lead them to the promise land (you know, stuff like dance class, new puppies, zoos, parks, bookstores, toystores, new shoes, child support)…
ANYWAYS—that’s what happened to all my money…Fuckin’ Peter Pan. lol